A Pilates Weekend, Body Confidence & Coming Home to Yourself
I’m back from a weekend in Austin feeling equal parts exhausted and completely alive.
After four days of early mornings, long walks in the Texas heat, deep conversations, and more tacos than I can reasonably justify, I came home with something better than rest — I came back with a shift.
Not a dramatic, life-altering transformation.
But something quieter. More lasting.
A shift in how I see my body.
Real Talk: Body Confidence Isn’t Linear
Here’s the truth:
Even though I talk about body positivity all day long, my inner dialogue doesn’t always match.
I’m not living in some perfect state of body neutrality. I still have moments of judgment. I still catch myself measuring against old standards, old habits, old narratives.
I grew up around diet culture. Around women who were always trying to shrink themselves. And that stuff sticks — even when you know better.
So when I tried to pack for this trip and realized that most of my summer clothes didn’t fit the way I wanted them to… yeah, it hit.
Frustration. Shame. That familiar spiral of:
“What am I doing wrong?”
“I need to fix this.”
“Maybe I should start over.”
The Moment That Changed Everything
Then I looked at my daughter.
Her soft belly. Her strong little legs. Her completely unfiltered way of existing in her body — without judgment, without hesitation.
And it clicked.
If she ever stands in front of a mirror one day feeling the way I just felt… what would I want her to think?
Not “fix it.”
Not “shrink.”
Not “you’re not enough.”
I’d want her to feel at home in herself.
So I paused.
And instead of spiraling, I made a different choice.
The Shift: From Control to Curiosity
Instead of trying to control my body, I got curious about it.
Maybe the jeans didn’t fit because bodies fluctuate — like they’re supposed to.
Maybe the workouts are working, and my body is changing shape in new ways.
Maybe there’s nothing to fix.
So instead of forcing myself into smaller spaces — physically or mentally — I let myself take up the space I’m actually in.
And something surprising happened:
I felt good.
Not because anyone complimented me.
Not because anything physically changed overnight.
But because the pressure lifted.
What Pilates (Really) Teaches
This is the work.
Not chasing some perfect version of your body.
But learning how to live inside it.
Pilates, at its core, isn’t about aesthetics. It’s about awareness. Strength. Connection.
It’s about understanding how your body moves, supports you, adapts — and yes, changes.
Your body isn’t something to constantly fix.
It’s something to work with.
On Strength, Stress & Small Shifts
Life doesn’t exactly make this easy.
We carry stress — external and internal. The world feels heavy sometimes. And even when life is good, there’s that strange mix of gratitude and anxiety humming underneath.
I feel it too.
And while we can’t always control the big things, we can shift how we respond.
Not through restriction or punishment — but through addition.
Adding nourishment.
Adding movement.
Adding small, supportive habits.
Because restriction almost always leads to backlash.
But support builds something sustainable.
A Note on the Body We Ignore
One of the most overlooked parts of all this?
The pelvic floor.
It’s not a niche topic. It’s not just for postpartum bodies. It’s foundational.
It’s your core. Your breath. Your stability.
And like the rest of your body, it deserves attention before something goes wrong — not just after.
Where I Landed
I still don’t always know what to wear.
I still have moments of doubt.
I’m still practicing.
But something has changed.
There’s more space now.
More ease.
More respect for the body I’m in — not the one I think I should have.
Because with change comes presence.
With presence comes confidence.
And that kind of confidence?
